Skip the cocaine. Best case scenario, you become a bad person for a half hour and then need more coke; worst case, you end up homeless or dead.
Don’t judge things that make you jealous and don’t lie about the jealousy. Just say you wish you had something and figure out if there’s a way to get it.
Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good. Writing badly does.
Luck and talent are the same thing, and neither of them have anything to do with your value as a human being.
When someone gives you a compliment, and you tell them they’re wrong, you’re not being humble, you’re being rude.
People attempting to prove you’re a bad person will shut up if you admit it, and they’ll leave you alone if you ask them to help you be better.
You’re going to marry Erin McGathy so try to be up front about that with all the women you date for the next 27 years.
You can’t control the outcome of your actions, so make your actions fulfilling. That way, if the outcome is shit, you weren’t a total sucker.
Brush your teeth at night and cut down on the carbs. Gawker and TMZ don’t scour the archives for your only hot photo.
Famed photographer Ferenc Berko took this photograph of this denture shop in Rawalpindi, India, in 1946. The giant model dentures may have been used to market false teeth, but they could easily have been the set for some fantastical horror film. I can’t help but wonder if the models scared off more customers than they brought in.
Bababooey to you all!
Community creator Dan Harmon is returning to TV: Adult Swim has given a 10-episode order to his animated series Rick and Morty, which revolves around the exploits of a gifted inventor and his not-so-gifted sidekick grandson. Harmon — the former Community showrunner who is also developing sitcoms at CBS and Fox